A couple of months late, but here are some musings on parenthood 6 months in.

You’re never on time to anything.

Moms no longer appear in photos because we’re the one taking them.

Laundry will be everywhere all the time in various stages of completion.

Play dates are for moms, not kids.

Her nightmares must be just me walking out of the room.

Baby doesn’t care what I if you are sick or have debilitating back pain.

Moms don’t get a lunch hour. Or a weekend off.

My knees now sound like crinkle paper.

A few things I’ve learned about being a parent in my 3 months of being a parent:

-You will never have a hot meal again.

-Sleeping more than 5 consecutive hours is a treat you may never know again.

-You will always be covered in some sort of bodily fluid.

-Time is a flat circle.

-Childcare is prohibitively expensive. How does anyone do it?

-Makeup? What’s that.

-Shower? Lolol.

-You’ll love that baby more than you’ve ever loved anything, and yes, your baby is the cutest baby around.

Remember the joy of Christmas morning as a kid? You know no different, a single focus of energy and attention.

That feeling is near impossible to replicate as an adult, replaced by things like love, loss, gratitude, fear. Often at the same time. Much more complex emotions than the purity of a child.

Today is one of those days. Only a few of my friends really know about it. It’s closing day on the sale of the house I owned with my ex husband. I feel relieved, scared, melancholy, hopeful.

As I realized months ago on the day my divorce was final, this is the type of thing where there is no winner, there is no celebratory party in order. It’s just sad. Sad that a marriage failed, sad that we both lost a lot of money, and sad that everyone involved felt a lot of pain. But now I look forward, unencumbered by my past. I was able to let go of heavy emotions and events form my past, even further back than this last decade. I learned how to be more aware, accepting, and not view myself as the victim in every scenario.

Through it all I focused my attention on positive gratitude. I’m grateful for my friends and family who held my hands and gave me advice. I’m grateful for lite moments that made me laugh while I cried. I journal morning and night about the things I am grateful for, and it turns out the things appearing most often are some of the most basic things in life, and things that can be so easy to take for granted.