A few things I’ve learned about being a parent in my 3 months of being a parent:

-You will never have a hot meal again.

-Sleeping more than 5 consecutive hours is a treat you may never know again.

-You will always be covered in some sort of bodily fluid.

-Time is a flat circle.

-Childcare is prohibitively expensive. How does anyone do it?

-Makeup? What’s that.

-Shower? Lolol.

-You’ll love that baby more than you’ve ever loved anything, and yes, your baby is the cutest baby around.

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