You complicate my feelings for other people if I had them.

I have come to the conclusion that I don’t like dating. I like going on dates. With one person. I don’t know how people date more than one person at a time. I guess I understand going on multiple first or second dates just to weed the field, to see what’s out there what you’re not missing out on. But what happens when you have feelings for more than one person at a time?

I’m still kinda new to dating again, and I’ve gone out with a few guys, getting back out there as they say. I’m currently “dating” one guy that lives 1,700 miles away that I’ve never met in person. It’s bonkers. We “met” on tinder while I was in LA for a concert. (And yes, I was initially only looking for a hookup and/or restaurant recommendations since I was only in town for 36 hours.)

If someone told me this 10, even 5 years ago, I’d be like girl, wth are you doing? Do you think this guy is even a real human? But here we are a month in and a month away from actually meeting in real life. We have phone dates and FaceTime dates, some of which are just us smiling stupidly at each others faces and others where we uh, do other things.

The forced distance has also forced intimacy, so instead of banging and crashing and burning, we actually talk about books and music and family and stuff (I’m even reading dude’s books!) and have actually gotten to know each other better. For better or worse. Fortunately it’s intensified our attraction (as I suppose it’s supposed to work), but it’s also complicating my feelings for other people if I had them.

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